


What we are

by desdemona_1996_writes



Category: Rumbelle - Fandom, ouat
Genre: A Monthly Rumbelling, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bathroom Sex, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Break up sex, Broken Hearts, Dead Body, F/M, Floor Sex, Hair-pulling, Hate Sex, Hatred, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love/Hate, Post-Break Up, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Self-Defense, Talking, Teasing, The well, Trauma, Tumblr Prompt, Vaginal Fingering, angsty, relationship discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:08:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24485641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desdemona_1996_writes/pseuds/desdemona_1996_writes
Summary: {We know what we are, but know not what we may be.}William ShakespeareWritten based on this Moodboard: submission for A monthly rumbelling submission. May: https://a-monthly-rumbelling.tumblr.com/post/616465758387617792/aesthetic-submission
Relationships: Belle/Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Love/hate

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the delay.this whole story was in bad need of a RE-write. So if you will a smuty little prologue to the Body.

“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” 

{William Shakespeare}

He winced, her words piercing his heart.he stumbled back as if she had stabbed him in the chest.he stood there gaping at her.at a loss for words for the first time in his pitiful existence he couldn't find the contemptuous remark to wound.

Too hurt her as much as she had utterly wounded him,

"I don't love you anymore." she said spitefully Angry blue eyes glaring with such hatred. such hatred, wounding him just as much as her words had.

He sighed defeated by a slip of a girl. a tiny brunette.he stood by wordlessly watching the love of his life as she stumped into his bathroom to gather all of her things.even her Scattered Bobby pins that he’d always complained about. they had said all that they were going to say. there was No amount of talking that was going to fix what had broken between them.

He’d lost her, Belle Hated him just like all the rest.

Unable to help himself He stepped into the bathroom.sadly watching her determination as she threw everything into a plastic bag.  
he hadn't meant to stare at her.  
he’d had only meant to..

"Are you really just going to stand there and watch me, don't you have anything to say to me! Belle angrily accused.those blue eyes glaring at Him with so much hatred.

He smirk at her finally a snide remark ready on his poisonous tongue. he opened his mouth to say the truly hateful words his devious mind had spun together when suddenly her mouth was on his! and all his pretty words died in his throat.he couldn't remember who had kissed who first? And yet somehow it didn't really matter anymore.suddenly they weren't talking anymore.his mouth was on her and she’d passionately responded.it was an angry hateful kiss and he responded.in kind, roughly kissing his beloved with resentful biting.before this their kisses had been full of love and tenderness now their clinch was fueled by anger and need.Hatred,

They wanted to hurt each other and they did. tender love twisting into hate.

A wave of lust crashed down upon them.  
carrying them away in a titlewave of pure need.almost subconsciously he pulled her down on the floor of the bathroom.and she went willingly.desperately holding onto him as they franticly torn each other's clothes off! she was laid bare beneath him Only a thin scrap of blue fabric remained between them. the Beautiful vision nearly took his breathe away!

She’d shaved her legs that morning he realized as his hands moved up her legs. her skin felt so soft.when was the last time he’d touched her? he idly wondered.he couldn't remember the last time she’d done that.when was the last time they’d actually made love? he couldn't remember. he didn't want to think about what that said about their relationship.

Pulling her silky panties to the side His fingers stroked her surprisingly wet folds. his fingers mercilessly toying with her clit when She cried out his name! in frustration as he teased her sopping folds.her fingers dug into his long hair painfully pulling.  
urging him to take her rough and hard on the cold bathroom floor. His love could be quite demanding at times and now who was he to deny such a sweet request.lifting her leg onto his shoulder nearly bending her in half.he pinned her arms down above her head and Met her needy gaze then he took her.he Fucked her as if it were the last time.the last time he’d ever feel her beneath him again.

They had hard angry sex on the cold bathroom floor.they were different people now.who they were before this was gone now. there was nothing left between them except hatred.

Her nails dug viciously into his back clawing at him while he buried himself deep inside her.driving into her with reckless abandon he made her cum.

Both breathing heavily their eyes locked.  
"I love you." he uttered as he came inside her.

"I hate you." she breathlessly replied.

"I know." he said and pressed his forehead against hers. spent, 

After the deed was done.

With his head still whirling with what they’d done he watched her step into the shower.  
washing him off her while he just sat there on the floor naked and spent.too love drunk to speak. his heart was broken. Belle, his Belle was leaving him.his worst nightmare had come true and it was all his own damn fault.


	2. The Body

4-months later~

Robert sat in his study sipping his glass of brandy in the dark. the only sound in the whole of his house the old ticking clock.he tells himself that he enjoys the silence after a long day of dealing with idiots.that he was at pace alone in his rather large house. and if he keeps telling himself that one day he might actually believe it.

Then unexpectedly his phone rang shocking him out of his self loathing stupor.it was 9:30 at Night who in the world could be calling him at this hour? glancing at his phone he had his answer.

"Hello Belle." he answered evenly.

He'd spent many evenings waiting. hoping for this call.apart of him dared to hope that one lonely Night she might call him.that she might miss him as much as he missed her. but deep down he knew.he knew that she didn't.she would Never call him again. Not in the 4-months since their bitter break up she Never called him Not once.until Tonight,

"Robert I need..she hesitated to say the words that would bring him back to life.  
His heart raced with anticipation, beating against his chest like a drum.

"Robert, I need you." he waited Anxiously for her to finally say the words that he so desperately needed to hear!

"Come over I need your help, I've killed him and I need your help with the body."   
she said matter of factly.

Too calmly, She must be in shock he quickly realized. "who? He asked.

"Keith, he's dead. will you come?  
She tentatively asked.

"Yes I'm coming sweetheart, he said the all too familiar endearment slipping all too easily from him.where are you? he asked and pinched the bridge of his nose feeling slightly light headed.

"Home, the body is on the floor in my living room." she said eerily calm.

"I'm on my way Belle, don't do anything till I get there alright."

"Robert, Please hurry." she said her voice cracking.

"I'm on my way sweetheart." he said downing the rest of his brandy.

Belle needed him she called him. she called him, grabbing his coat he was out the door racing to her side.

Belle lived in the up stairs apartment of the town library.he still had his key she never did get around to asking for it back.

He hurried up the stair case his heart racing with anticipation and dread.  
No one had the power to utterly and completely wreck him except for his precious Belle.

He knocked softly on her door and she answered with an blank expression on her face.deathly clam.

"I..he's dead, I'm pretty sure? his body is in the living room." she said and stepped aside allowing him to enter.

He cupped her face in his hands making her look him in the eye. "are you ok? he asked and she nodded her head in reply still so very clam.Her continued unnerving calmness was concerning.

"It's alright, I'm here now sweetheart."  
he said lowly and kissed her forehead when she pulled away her head turning toward the body on the floor.she absently nodded her head.

reluctantly pulling away from her Robert found the body of Keith nottingham spread out on the living room floor.broken glass shards from the snow globe he'd gotten her on their trip to New York City were scattered all over the carpet.he knelt down checking for a pulse finding none. he looked up at Belle who was watching him.her fingers nervously fidgeting with the collar of her shirt.

"So he is dead." she said that unsettling calmness cracking. a look of panic in her blue eyes.

rising to his feet and coming to her side he tentatively put his hands on her shoulders.

"Did he hurt you? He asked searching for the answer in her eyes.

She bit her lip unshed tears gathering in her blue eyes as she stared fixated on the dead man on her floor.

"Hay." he gently lifted her chin making her look at him. "don't look at him, just keep your eyes on me. alright." she nodded her head in reply.

"Belle please, tell me what happened.   
did he hurt you?

She just shook her head.

"It's alright now Belle, I'm here now.  
I'll take care of this." he said nodding   
his head.

"Here, he said putting his house key in the palm of her hand.go to my place.wait there for me.I'll take care of this." he said reassuringly.

She nodded and began to turn her head back.

"No, don't look back sweetheart. trust me,   
I have this." he nodded his head and she nodded in understanding.she turned to go but paused at the door hesitating.

She looked back at him with uncertain blue eyes he give her a half smile and nodded for her to go.

Robert sighed after she'd gone.he looked back at the dead body on the floor trying to piece together what had happened?   
he looked at his watch it was 10:15 the clock was ticking.he had to get rid of the body,   
he could perhaps leave his body in the alley behind the bar but he would rather not take the chance of anything leading back to Belle.he'll take him to the woods bury him there he decided.the tricky part was getting him out of the apartment.

He checked his watch and eyed the rug beneath the body.there was the solution to his problem.

Moving quickly he moved the coffee table out of the way and rolled the carpet over the body.all evidence of a struggle concealed within the rug.

Dragging the rug out of the apartment and down the staircase was a bit of a challenge but manageable.now getting the thing into the trunk of his car.unseen, was another matter.But that was a problem for another day he decided. 

he pulled his car around and loaded the body wrapped in the carpet into the trunk. glancing around his surroundings not a soul was stirring in their sleepy little town.perfect,

He made it home just before breaking dawn his house was dark. still.terrifying him, worried that she wouldn’t be there. that she'd gone and he wouldn't Know where.He entered his house without so much as a smudge on his polished shoes.the pair of rubber boots he kept in the trunk of his car came in handy.with his hand shaking his heart in his throat he walked into the darken living room and breathe a sigh of relief when he saw her silhouette.siting on the couch staring into the dark.

"Belle." he said softly  
turning on the Table side lamp.

"Belle." she barely blinked up at him.

"It's done." he said carefully putting his hand on hers.

"Don't, don't tell me what you did with..with him." she replied pulling away from him.

"Belle please, can we talk."

"Please, she stood up from the couch.can we Not."

"Belle sweetheart, I think your in shock.perhaps if you..

"No I can't, Not Tonight." she said turning to leave.

"Belle wait, where will you go.please stay the Night." he asked practically pleading with her,

"I'm going home, where else would I go." she coolly replied glancing over her shoulder at him before walking out the door.leaving him to stare after her. 

He watched her go.walk out of his house and out of his life.again, with everything in him screaming to chase after her.to put his arms around her again.protect her from the world but he doesn't move.he just stands there where she left him at complete and utter loss.

he spent the morning nervously pacing in his house.too anxious to sleep.her face.that dead stare in her blue eyes haunted him.He didn't dare hope that she would..he was abruptly pulled from his agitated musing by the unexpected ringing of his phone.

"Belle." he answered his voice raspy with desperation.

"I..I need to see you." she said still sounding so calm.

"Yes of course sweetheart, I'll be Right there." he replied.

"No, Not..not here." she stuttered.

"At the well in the woods, meet me there." 

"Alright, I'm on my way now." he said and she ended the call before he could say anymore.

he arrived at the clearing in the woods finding her already there staring down into the abandoned well.once upon a time this had been there place.now it was just a place filled painful memories.

"Belle." he said her name a little breathlessly.

She turned to look at him. "hay."  
she said with a quiet sadness haunting her blue eyes.

"Hay." he muttered apparently forgetting how to formulate words into full sentences.for the moment. for just a moment he forgot everything and he only saw her.he moved closer to her when she took a step back from him her hands rised in the air halting him.

"Don't, I'm fine.I don't want to talk about last Night I only want to know the cost." She said.

"Belle sweetheart, your not making any sense." he said tentatively taking a step closer to her his arms outstretched.

"No Don't, please just don't. just let me..just let me say this. I can't talk about last Night.I really don't want to know what you did and I can't tell you what happened.please, just let it go. if you ever loved me please Never ask me again." she said speaking hurriedly that eerily calmness gone.

"Whatever you want Belle, whatever you need sweetheart I'm here."  
he replied.

And She laughed bitterly at that.  
"don't play the hero, Not for me. after all it go's against everything you are." she stated her tone full of anger and bitterness.

"And I'am the villain, is that what you think of me now? He stepped back from her giving her space.wounded by her unexpected cold tone.

"Why, he asked his voice cracking  
Why here.why did you ask me to come here? he asked his tone accusatory.

She shook her head unable to acknowledge their sheared history with this place.

"I only came here because I know you,   
I know everything has a price with you.   
I want to know if your going to hold this over my head." she replied with anger rinsing in her tone.

"No, Not for this." he shook his head her believing truly the worst in him hurt his heart.his worst fears come to life.his Belle truly hated him.

"No never this Belle, this was free of charge." he said looking away from her accusatory stare.unable and willing to see the hate in her eyes. those blue eyes that used to look at him with so much tender affection.

"but I will remind you of this, what I will hold over your head is the fact that you called me.when you needed help you called me, Belle. Not the sanctimonious sheriff or your band of hero friends.Me! Belle you called me." he evenly stated.

"And I think you know what that means." he smirk suddenly realizing that he held all the cards.

"Your a bastard you know that."  
she bitterly stated her fiery blue eyes glaring at him.

"I’ve never denied that." he retorted with  
a sly grin hardening his bruised and battered heart.hiding behind the mask of the town villain.

"Answer me this Belle, Why didn't you call Him? why did you choose to call me Belle? he asked.

"I couldn't call him, we..we broke up. and I..I just couldn't." she hesitantly replied.

"But you called me." he pressed.

"Yes, Damn you! and now your going to hold it over my head.like a dark cloud hanging over my head tormenting me just like you hung over my relationship with him.haunting us like a ghost between us.you were always there and No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get rid of you! she angrily spat.

"I kept my distance Belle, I Never once did anything to interfere and you know I could have.I could have done so much to Him but I didn't.for you.only for you, I stayed away." he replied with his own anger rising in him like a tide to his dismay.

"For me, she shook her head. coward! you were a cancer infecting us and No matter how hard I tired I couldn't cut you out of me.you poisoned me hollowing me out until there was Nothing left of me! and I..I couldn't love him because of you.I couldn't trust him because of you! because of you   
I had to let him go. Don't you understand you did this to me! made me feel this hollowness this emptiness without you! 

He snorted contemptuously and she glared up at him.

"Your a monster." 

"Yah maybe, maybe I was once was a monster.but that was before you. I didn't know I had a heart until I meet you my darling Belle.my heat beat so violently on that day I thought it would break my chest.he said putting his hand over his chest. did I love you? Oh yes I loved you." 

"I thought that you were a poison to me, you made me feel.made me care. after living so long Not giving a damn about anyone else but myself it was quite jarring to suddenly need someone again.I was afraid Belle.I'm coward." he said biting the word out.

She shook her head at him.

"I pushed you away, thinking that I would save myself the pain when you eventually left me and you did leave me. in the end.   
I thought You were the poison infecting me with your light when it was me all along.it was me, I was the poison. my own personal enemy." He retorted.

"I hate you, she angrily spat. so much." 

"I know." he sadly replied.

"I despise you, I regret ever being with you! letting myself fall for you." 

"I love you." he said simply.

She Shook her head. "don't! 

"I love you, I'll always love you Belle.   
No matter what your apart of me." 

"Oh you ruined me! She screamed at him.her whole body practically shaking in anger. I can't love anyone else! I can't trust anyone.you did that to me! I hate you so much! Can't you understand that! and despite everything, everything you are I’m still in love with you." 

"Belle." He Rasp taking another tentative step closer to her.

"I need you so much, it's tearing me apart not to be near you." She added.

"Belle sweetheart." he said reaching for her.

"Don't, don't you dare touch me! I can't bare it! don't you understand." she shouted backing away from him.

"You claim to love me when you don't even know what love is, you never loved me." She stated bitterly.

"I never you loved you? Look me in the eye Belle.you know that's a lie.I loved you.I still love you.you know that." He replied.

She shook her head biting down on her bottom lip refusing to look him in the eye.

"You don't know how this feels, too love someone so much you hate them for it.   
I hate the man you are but I can't make myself stop loving you.I still want you   
and I hate it." She said protectively wrapping her arms around herself.

“Then explain it to me Belle.” 

"You were my whole world, my center.I didn't like the person I became when I'm with you. everything is you and I get so sick and tired of having to explain your every vile evil action.telling lies to myself so that   
I can sleep by your side at Night.when   
I'm actually sleeping with the devil."

"I think that's a bit much." 

"No it's Not, not after everything you've done." 

"What, what have I really done Belle?   
He asked.

"Really, you Need a list? my Father for starters! Then there’s the hell you put poor Granny through.and! and the Nuns. the list go's on and on, the pain that you’ve caused it’s endless! She angrily rambled on. 

"That was just business Belle,   
Nothing personal." He simply replied.

"But it Is personal, it's every bit personal.how can I justify staying with you when you do such horrible things in the name of just business.when in fact, it's all about you and your ego! She shot back. 

He sighed unwilling and unable to fight with her.

"I love you, you are my everything Belle." he said taking small steps towards her.

She sighed deflating. "No, I'm not." 

He nodded. "yes you are, I just never let you see how much you mean to me. I was afraid to let you in.let you see how week i'am.because I thought you would leave me and in the end you did anyway." 

"You pushed me away." She said meekly.

"I know." he said standing closer to her.close enough to reach out and touch her.

"I'm broken and wrong, Nothing is right." she said.

"I know the feeling, Nothing feels right without you Belle." he said tentatively reaching out to touch her. his hand softly caressing her cheek when she turned away.

"No I won't be weak, I can't let you back in." she said turning her back on him.

"I'm already there Belle, I'm inside of you.apart of you as your apart of me. were apart of each other it's to late now." he said wrapping his arms around her from behind.

"You can't get rid of me, trust me I've tried to get rid of you too.but I couldn't.were in each other's blood. one heart one soul.we are one Belle." 

“Do have any idea what it did to me to see you with him, watching from a distance while you flaunted your happy life with him.” He muttered burying his nose in her hair breathing her in.

"What have we done to each other,   
she exclaimed breaking away from his comforting embrace. I'm still angry with you." 

"I know." He nodded his head staring at her with longing.

"I hate you." 

"No you don't." 

"I wish I could.” 

"I know, I know sweetheart." 

"I don't want to want you anymore."

"I know you don't sweetheart."

"But I do, I do.I still want you."

"I know." 

“I love you.” She said biting on her bottom lip. 

“And I love you too.” He said again reaching out to touch her. 

And this time she didn’t pull away as he softly brushed the tears from her face. 

“He..he tired.. 

“Shh, your safe now sweetheart.I've got you I’m here.” He said gently pulling her back into his arms holding her closely. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, finally finished this.


End file.
